profound infatuation

growing up i was always told about fairytales & love, one day knowing i will find my own. now for any real woman reading this with that love comes an astounding chance of insanity. i've loved, and i've been hurt, but to this day i don't understand why so many women have the same problem. We tend to get attached ( now even though some of us may hide it well ) it happens. i was always that girl that after my first love ( wich brought me so much pain ) devoted myself to bein a bitch. I truly did not give a fuck bou any niggah point blank. I look back & i don't have any possotive role model's of true love or even a faithful men. i come from a broken home ( like most of family's today ). My mom loved my dad, he was her world & with out a single thought or consideration of our happy family he left. I was six & sadly could remember everything. I became to hate men seein how bitter mom's got. I played em lied to em & cheated on em, until i fell in love. Now i did not want to put him first,thinkin i was the shit i fucked it up & lost him, but at 14 i didn't knoe much. i went through errythang fo that boy & by the time i was 16 i said fuck it. played around & brpke a lot of heart's i question why. Now my second love was beautiful the sweetest sin of all, i was 16 at the timehe was 18, today i'm 19 & i'm still with my love but it aint been no smooth ride. We have broken up mo then a million times cuz he was unfaithful. when we were sepperated i went through the same ass shyy mackin playin erry niggah cuz i was hurt. I admit my fault cuz i was young but i've grown up & come a long way. I am not afraid to say that i don't have the bess relationship with men but i admit that i continue to try to find peace & love, but i been through hell caint blame a girl fo messin up here & their i'm still young & learnin . xoxo